This was a project of mine in Studio Production at CSUF, it displays why marijuana isn’t always the best pre-gamer

A Preview of the Academy Awards from someone who knows nothing about movies

As the Winter Olympics officially came to a close this past weekend, there was no doubt America’s focus would immediately shift to the two essential pieces our nation’s core falling back into place.

The first piece being The Ellen DeGeneres Show moving back to its original timeslot (though it’s no consolation for her being as grossly out-of-place as a judge on American Idol as Dennis Miller was on Monday Night Football for that dreaded two-season stint).

The second and more important piece is the dawn of Spring Training.  The Boys of Summer are coming back, and we’re less than one month away from Opening Day; however, before MOT gets into a full-blown preview of the 2010 season, it’s important to address the fallout from these chilly 2010 Winter Games.

Doing The Right Thing?

Is it wrong that this is my favorite part of the Winter Games?

I won’t lie and act as if I was 100% into the Winter Olympics at all, but I did manage to catch a few of the competitions, and that alone should be a moral victory for Vancouver.  Egocentric as that last statement may be, I don’t know anyone who anticipates Winter Games as much as they do the “regular” Olympics.  You know … the ones that take place on dry, non-ice-capped land and in water?

Nevertheless, I’m one of those guys that will find more entertainment in seeing the athletes spill while skiing downhill, bodies flopping around like fish at the end of a baited hook, than an actual combative race between skilled rivals.  Call me a cynical asshole if you wish, but I still appreciate what these people do.  I’m just glad it occurs on a big stage level once every 4 years.

Anyway, the undoubted culmination of these games occurred Sunday afternoon during the Men’s Hockey Gold Medal game between North America’s finest.  It wasn’t quite US vs. Russia’s ‘Miracle On Ice’ in 1980, but it still delivered on a scale no one could have expected.  The USA team fell to a 2-0 deficit early on and rallied back in Mighty Ducks fashion to tie it up with mere seconds left in regulation, only to watch Sid the Kid kill all their hopes and dreams in OT shortly thereafter.  Somewhere, Emilio Estevez was shedding a tear of happiness.

What’s worse is the customary practice of having the Silver medal team remaining on the ice as the Gold medal winners celebrate.  This should fall under the most cruel and unusually punishing sports moments ever.  I mean, they might as well have had the Canadian team fornicate with all of the American team’s wives and girlfriends while they’re at it.  The US team looked like they just saw a herd of wide-eyed deer being slaughtered during that medal ceremony.  Let them take their puck and go home — no need to induce the potential for suicide, you heartless officials.

But, on the bright side, would USA winning the gold medal in hockey really help out our cause?  The rest of the free world hates us already, and it’s bad enough we brought home the most medals as it is.  I’m sure if Canada were to have lost the game, a drunken bevy of belligerent Canucks would have marched across that Northern border and ransacked us from above.  In that sense, I say any disappointed players and fans take this L on the chin and keep it moving.  Better to have lost impressively than to have won and suffered massive bodily injuries in the aftermath.

Let the Canadians have their hockey.  We still have baseball … hey, speaking of which … (segue central right there, buddy)

Who will topple the Evil Empire?

League Mission: Prevent this from happening again

Let me be as blunt as possible:  Last year’s World Series was painful to watch.  No sugarcoating happening at all here, my friends … I’m as devout a Yankee hater as you will find.  Even sadder is I had them winning it all before the season started.  They say money can’t buy you happiness, but in the MLB, where salary caps are as realistic as vampires going to high school among red-blooded human beings, this assessment couldn’t be further from the truth.

The Yankees winning the World Series nowadays is the equivalent to Donald Trump winning the lottery.  Why do the rich need to get richer?  I could go on and on, but the message is clear:  someone needs to put an end to the richest team in baseball signing all of the best players and running roughshod on the league.   When one player (A-Rod, for example) makes more than an entire team (Florida Marlins) in a season, something has to be done.

Regardless, it’s time to break down how all the teams stack up this year.  (Note:  Betting odds are courtesy of Bodog Sportsbook).

[Already Home…]

New York Yankees – Goes without saying.  A-Rod, Jeter, CC, Tex, Rivera, Posada, Pettitte, and Girardi aka The Usual Suspects are all back for another go-round.  Add in newly acquired lead-off man Curtis Granderson, and you’re not going to find a more stacked lineup than this.  Although question marks may still arise from the pitching staff and exactly what they’re going to get from the likes of A.J. Burnett, Jaiver Vazquez, Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes, among others, the fact remains this team has and will always buy their way out of a jam.  Sickening, I know, but it’s the way of the baseball world.  Odds to win – 11:4.

Boston Red Sox – If the Yankees are the Evil Empire, the Red Sox have to be the Heinous Union (God, I love my thesaurus).  Although not as rich and powerful as the former, Boston is just as quick to dish out dough for the sake of winning.  Two World Series titles in four years after 88 years of nothing should prove that, but there is a bit more purity when it comes to the Nation (that’s about all the credit I’m giving them).  Key additions include John Lackey and Marco Scutaro, but lest we forget, this team was a powerhouse either way.  They should change David Ortiz’s nickname from “Big Papi” to “Big ?”, because we have no clue what to expect from him after last year.  Still, they’re a lock to threaten in the East.  Odds to win – 6:1.

Philadelphia Phillies – After years of oppression from a championship team in any sport, Philly has absolutely nothing to complain about nowadays.  They are the Kings of the NL, and barring any injuries, should be right back at the top once again this season.  If there was one mistake they made, it was getting rid of Cliff Lee after his dominant run in the postseason last year to bring in Roy Halladay, although you can’t go wrong either way.  It’s like trading Corvette for a Ferrari – you’re riding in style no matter the price tag.  Odds to win – 6:1.

[They’ll Be Comin ‘Round The Corner When They Come…]

You know about Manny, but it's the other 2/3 of the outfield to watch for in LA

St. Louis Cardinals – Tony LaRussa is one of the best managers in the game, and he proves it every season by having his squad in the thick of the playoff hunt year in and year out.  With Albert Pujols aka Jesus in baseball uniform closing in on 100% health (he put up MONSTER numbers with an elbow that was shredded beef the past 2 seasons) you can expect more of the same, especially with Matt “My Favorite” Holliday protecting him now for a few more years.  Chris Carpenter is healthy again as well, and Adam Wainwright is turning into a consistent Cy Young threat.  Not much else needs to be said.  Odds to win – 13:1.

Los Angeles Dodgers – After coming up short against the Phillies the past 2 seasons, something has to give for Torre and Co.  Unfortunately, it looks like it was their pitching staff.  Clayton Kershaw is slated to start on Opening Day, and while he’s a very promising young arm, the onus of making him the ace of their staff after only 2 seasons could prove costly if he’s not up for the task.  Positive note?  Matt “Mr. Rihanna” Kemp and Andre Ethier continue to get better every season, and with Manny Ramirez looking to continue his career after this season, it would be hard to see him not give everything he has left in the tank during his contract year.  Odds to win – 14:1.

Los Angeles Angels – Whether or not this team still has the “Of Anaheim” moniker need not apply.  They no longer have Vlad “No Knees” Guerrero or John “I’m Not Your” Lackey anymore, so this is definitely a new-look Angels team, compared to what we’ve been accustomed to for the past few years.  Nonetheless, Mike Scioscia keeps this team prepared no matter the circumstances, and this year will probably be no different.  An outstanding young infield (Kendry Morales, Howie Kendrick, Brandon Wood and Erick Aybar) from positions 3-6 respectively make this team a heavy sleeper.  Odds to win – 15:1.

Seattle Mariners – Rainy days haven’t stopped this city from being a potential breakout menace the past few years, but after landing Cliff Lee from Philly during the off-season, it looks like King Felix may have the “2” to his 1-2 Punch combo.  Or is Lee the “1”?  Whatever the case, would you want to face these two arms in a 7-game series?  Probably not.  Odds to win – 16:1.

Look out AL West, Seattle might have the most dangerous 1-2 punch of the season

[Do We Look Like Mattresses? Then Why Would You Sleep On Us…?]

Joe Nathan has quietly become one of the most shut-down closers in the league, and it's one of the reasons the Twins are always on the radar

Minnesota Twins – As much as I hate to admit it, this is a very solid team.  They always hang around long enough and close enough to make that final push in the last couple months of the season when they’re seemingly out of the hunt.  On top of that, the addition of J.J. Hardy and Orlando Hudson to their infield not only helps their defense up the middle, but improves their lineup significantly.  And as long as Joe “You Ain’t Scoring” Nathan is the closer, this is a very scary team.  Odds to win – 20:1.

San Francisco Giants – The turnaround from cellar-dweller to stellar-compeller last season most definitely was not a fluke, not as long as Tim “The Freak” Lincecum and Matt Cain are leading the pitching staff.  Pablo “Kung-Fu Panda” Sandoval is a legitimate batting champ in the making, and the much-needed bat of Aubrey Huff gives this team pop from the left side, something they haven’t had since a guy named Bonds … Barry Bonds.  Shaken not stirred.  Odds to win – 20:1.

Tampa Bay Rays – The storybook season a couple years back crash landed back down to Earth last year, but don’t tell this group of guys they can’t contend.  Aside from Carlos Pena and Pat Burrell, this team is filled with nothing but young studs who may continue to improve in years to come, led by Evan “Remember The N” Longoria.  Now, if they can only figure out away to get out of that dreaded AL East division.  Odds to win – 20:1.

Chicago White Sox – The baseball media is abuzz over Ozzie Guillen’s new Twitter account, and the South Side’s skipper wouldn’t have it any other way.  As long as there isn’t any negative criticism going on about his team, Ozzie is glad to take the heat.  But this team is full of guys looking to prove something, after forgettable years from several former All-Stars looking to rebound (Jake Peavy, Carlos Quentin, Alex Rios).  Boasting more quality pitchers than your town’s favorite brewery, the Pale Hose are looking for nothing less than another championship to put on their outspoken leader’s mantle.  Odds to win – 25:1.

Colorado Rockies – Those who thought the Mile-High ball club’s run back in ’07 was a stroke of luck need to look no further back than last year where history repeated itself, and the unlikely crew battled back from the bottom to make another playoff run.  But the team is a product of how well their leader Troy Tulowitzki plays, so another slow start for him this year may mean another big wall to climb late in the season.  The good thing is, when Tulo is on, he’s as good as anybody else in the game.  Period.  Odds to win – 22:1.

[Don’t Feed Our Egos Too Fast, We Tend To Choke…]

Chicago Cubs – I find it hard to believe Bodog gives this team the credit they do, but to each their own.  They’re a favorite every year, and every year they fumble down the stretch.  I see nothing different happening this season, especially with Alfonso Soriano getting up there in age, and no true staff ace to rely on in a crucial game.  Prove me wrong, Captain Lou, prove me wrong.  Odds to win – 20:1.

New York Mets – Again, three years in a row they were the NL East favorite, and all 3 years they managed to let those lofty expectations get the better of them.  Johan “Don’t Call Me Carlos” Santana is not the same ace he was with the Twins, but he’s still got plenty of years left in the tank.  He’s just going to need a lot more help from his friends.  David Wright can’t do it alone, and no one knows what to expect from Jose Reyes after he missed the majority of last year.  This all without addressing the always problematic bullpen issues this team goes through as well.  Odds to win – 20:1.

[Providing False Hope For Those Loyal Fans Who Don’t Know Better…]

With two of the best bats in the game in their line-up, can The Brew Crew finally get over the hump and become a contender?

Detroit Tigers – Miguel Cabrera’s binging sprees aside, Jim Leyland’s crew is capable of bouncing back this year, at least for a couple months.  Justin Verlander can only carry this pitching staff so far, and Rick Porcello wasn’t exactly a beacon of stability last season.  Aging veterans like Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Guillen and free agent signee Johnny Damon don’t exactly give this team a bright future, either.  Odds to win – 28:1.

Atlanta Braves – One thing this squad always provides is solid pitching, and this year’s rotation, if healthy, can be one of the best in the MLB.  Too bad there’s little to no offense to provide run support.  There’s always that possibility that Troy “Lip” Glaus and Chipper can resurrect their bats, but even with promising young players like Nate McLouth, Matt Diaz and Yunel Escobar, I just don’t see them hanging with the Phils.  Brian McCann is the only sure-bet offensively.  Odds to win – 22:1.

Houston Astros – These are the anti-Twins.  They always make a late-season surge, but by then they’re already too far back to see the finish line.  Call them the Danica Patrick of the NL Central.  Crash and burn, baby.  Odds to win – 75:1.

Florida Marlins – There isn’t a more resilient team in the MLB than these scrappy fish.  They’re like what the Oakland A’s used to be – a team that develops great talent through their farm system, hangs tough throughout the season, then ends up losing their best players because they can’t afford to pay them.  Those Damn Yankees.  SMH (that’s shaking my head, for those who are out of the loop).  Odds to win – 30:1.

Milwaukee Brewers - Two of the best hitters in the game (Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder) but no pitching to match.  Yovani Gallardo is the only sure thing in the Brew Crew’s rotation.  Randy Wolf had a career year with the Dodgers last seaon, but something tells me that success won’t be duplicated in 2010, at least not to that extent.  You never know, though.  Odds to win – 40:1.

Texas Rangers – One of the few lineups where any batter from 1-9 can provide pop.  Again, though, there’s little to no pitching.  Rich Harden helps out that cause, but we all know what happens to good hurlers who go to Arlington:  they kind of start sucking.  Odds to win – 25:1.

Arizona Diamondbacks – Brandon Webb is this team’s key to success, plain and simple.  He and Dan Haren provide the classic top-of-the-rotation studs any team needs to survive, but can they get quality production from Edwin “No Relation To Michael” Jackson without the second-half collapse he suffered in ‘09?  Only the season will tell.  Justin Upton is the only sure-fire stud offensively.  Odds to win – 35:1.

Cincinnati Reds – If there’s one thing Dusty Baker is good at, it’s working the hell out of young pitchers until their arm strength is the equivalent to a wet noodle.  Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Edinson Volquez are all historical examples of this theory, so if highly-touted Cuban import Aroldis Chapman has any wits about him, he may want to attempt getting himself traded.  That, or look into becoming ambidextrous.  Odds to win – 50:1.

[Better Luck Next Year…  Or The Year After… Or Not In This Lifetime…]

Sorry Castle, don't expect to see much out of Cleveland that you didn't see last year.

These teams don’t even deserve explanations on why they have no chance, so yeah.  I offer my condolences to the poor fans of the following franchises:

Oakland Athletics – 55:1.

Cleveland Indians – 75:1.

Kansas City Royals – 85:1.

San Diego Padres – 90:1.

Baltimore Orioles – 100:1.

Toronto Blue Jays – 100:1.

Pittsburgh Pirates – 125:1.

Washington Nationals – 150:1.

Sorry, no Doggie awards this week.  Maybe I’ll double them up next time around, maybe not.  Until then, I wish you peace, love and soul food … except grits.  How can anyone eat that stuff?  It’s like a combo of rice and flavorless oatmeal.  Damn, I’m rambling now … MOT signing out.

Lil Miss smitten

This girl isn’t single, and she will let you know it as soon as she can.  If the topic of relationship status doesn’t come up within the first five minutes of talking with her, she will manage to drop a line about how whatever you’re saying reminds her of something she did with her boyfriend recently.  This girl also tends to feel as though any conversation a man begins with her is flirting, and will assume you are hitting on her, and if by chance you are, she will drop “just so you know I have a boyfriend” even before you can grab the bartender’s attention, and probably be showing you pictures of him on her phone by the time the drink actually comes.

What you can expect hear:

“So I was at the movies with Mark this past weekend… that’s my boyfriend, and he put his coat down so I wouldn’t get my new Gucci boots dirty, you know the ones he got me for Christmas?  God my boyfriend is so sweet, I love my boyfriend!  You’ve met my boyfriend haven’t you?  His name is Mark… he’s my boyfriend”

Her profile picture:

A perfectly crafted sepia-tinted photo of her and the BF making out on the beach as the sun falls behind the ocean so perfectly in the background.  Although it appears to be a capture of the most beautiful moment in her life, it was actually the product of an hour-long photo shoot that required an estimated 558 photos to be taken to get it right.  She may or may not have photo-shopped the words “true love” over the photo in pink cursive.

Nothing lasts forever, and although she will usually be engaged in this relationship as long as she possibly can hold on to it, eventually Lil Miss Smitten will be single again.  This will usually be marked by a period where she calls all her best gal friends and tells them how much they need to catch up and hit the bars, the same friends that she conveniently lost touch with for the past year and a half.  Her friends should beware however, these nights will probably feature 98% conversing about how heartbroken she is and how lonely her life is now, in between intervals of dancing wildly to whichever Lady Gaga song is playing on the juke box.  This phase will last a month or two before she finds another soul mate to devote her life to.

Lil Miss Party Girl

If you ever want to get a rager going, she should be the first person you hit up.  A bottle of alcohol, an iPod and a group of eyes to give her attention is all this girl needs to get a party going.  Lil Miss Party Girl prides herself more on her drinking ability than her own self worth.  Her reaction to a layout of shots is comparable to an 8-year old receiving a hovercraft on Christmas morning.

Drinking herself into an oblivion becomes a nightly routine, where she begins and where she ends up varies, but the brief moments of sober living in between partying are usually accompanied by heavy mood swings that result from hidden depression that will soon be covered once again with heavy doses of Jagermeister and Tequila.

There are two breeds of this girl: The girl who constantly denies that she has yet reached the level of intoxication “I’m sotally tober, what are you talking about??”  And the girl who feels the need to announce her intoxication level every 15 minutes or so, often times in a high pitched scream.  The savvy ones are able to find work that doesn’t interfere with her party lifestyle; jobs such as club promoter, cocktail server or cage dancer allow her to make a living without ever fully sobering up.

What you can expect to hear:

“Let’s take a shot!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Her profile picture:

A sexy shot of her dancing on a bar snapped from one of those professional club photographer websites, her ability to achieve such an erotic pose and eye the camera so seductively in the midst of such a wild moment is an art that she has crafted to perfection over the years.

Many people might immediately write this girl off as a party slut, but actually she usually isn’t even thinking about hooking up, she’s more there for the dancing and the drinking, it can be a very confusing situation for the guys who are there for the very opposite reason.  But she knows how to have a good time, and is always a good party guest so don’t lose that number.

Lil Miss Church Girl

She’s the good girl, the one you want to bring home and meet the fam… until you realize your version of ‘family life’ horrifies her due to the stark contrast to her ‘perfect’ home life.  She claims that everything is equal, and we are made our own way, claiming that nobody should ever judge.  This despite the fact that she judges everything you say and do, citing bible verses to explain your impurities.  She turns to biblical references for answers, which help her in long-term goals but have a little less assistance in determining day-to-day decisions, such as which fluorescent dress to dawn today.

What you can expect to hear:

“I don’t believe in that”

Her profile picture:

The professionally taken family photo that also happened to be the family Christmas card.

If you want to get anywhere with this girl you better be willing to settle down for a while.  You’ll be lucky to get to first base by date three, you won’t be seeing second base for a few months of intense commitment, and you better be willing to put a rock on her finger if you’re planning on crossing home plate… and yes, she will refer to the base system every time she slaps your hand away.

Lil Miss Evanescent

This is an unusual type, and you would never assume anybody would be her upon first meeting.  She’s a very cool personality, there is definitely an intriguing uniqueness to her.  She has a very fascinating life story, a mysterious one where if you asked the right questions might stumble upon something incredible.

The problem with her is as a soon as you think you’ve figured her out- she’s gone.  She disappears without a trace, her number is now dis-connected, her Facebook account has been deleted, and any profile that had previously detailed her life now only informs her name and sex.  At first you miss her, saddened by her disappearance, but eventually she escapes from your mind.  Then, much later,  as quickly as she vanished, she appears again.  With a new look and a crazy story to tell of her whereabouts.   “I went to Canada and became a nurse,” “I moved to Vermont and got engaged but ran away from the wedding,” “I lived in Russia for a year doing _______ (anything at that point qualifies as a crazy story).”

What you can expect to hear:

“I’m leaving”

Her profile picture:

A faceless default sillouhette

Lil Miss Evanescent has an underlying beauty to her, you just know if she settled down she’d be an amazing person to be with, but her greatest fear is commitment so she won’t settle down and it keeps you guessing… just how she likes it.

Lil Miss Emo Heart

This girl is a unique bird to say the least… at least she’ll think that.  She can be found most often in her dark velvet-laced bedroom, where she spends the majority of time writing poetry and video logging about how the world around her doesn’t understand.

She will dis-miss the other girls around her as superficial wannabes who waste the majority of time over-glamorizing themselves with expensive makeup and trendy wardrobe.  This, despite the fact that it takes her an hour and a half each morning getting her face powder and mascara the same shade as the fog over the moonlight.

She is, for the most part, an intelligent girl.  Unfortunately, she uses her intelligence to try to break down the people around her rather than better herself, this is commonly done through versing an Edgar Allan Poe excerpt.

What you can expect to hear:

“What’s the point, we’re all slowly dying anyways.”

Her profile picture:

A self-photographed black and white shot in which she’s looking away with various crosses poetic statements and dead roses added to the mix somehow.

This girl is almost always going through a phase, although she won’t admit it until it’s over.

Lil Miss Sorority

Our final female is a girl you’re bound to run into at least once or twice if you spend enough time around a college campus.  Miss Sorority is in the prime years of her college life, she loves the fun that’s around her and loves her sorority sisters even more.  Nowhere is this more evident than on her Facebook and MySpace pages.  On there, an endless array of photo albums that displays of sorority retreats, girls night outs and recruitment photos can be found.

This is another girl that loves to party.  She loves to dance and dress up, many times as a team with her girls.  She’s the girl who pulls out the camera everytime a group shot is about to be taken.  She’s also the girl who will take 19 pictures of you and her just to make sure she gets the perfect one.  She will stand up for her sisters…. whether their assistance was asked for or not.  She doesn’t have a problem pulling a girl away from a fun situation in the name of sisterhood… and perhaps jealousy.  She will assertively declare her house’s longstanding traditions, even if she tends not to follow them herself.

She is generally around the age of 18-21, probably somewhere in her first couple years of college.  After the novelty of the sorority social life begins to fade, the parties have been done, the faces have changed, and the fraternity guys seem to be more interested with the cute little new girls that are now the gung-ho sorority girl that she used to be,  she begins to take on a different persona.  Either she moves on from the sorority life all together, or she becomes a strict exec member who is far too concerned with greek drama for her own good.

What you can expect to hear:

“I love my sisters!!! <3<3<3″

Her Profile picture:

A group photo of her and her sisters smiling great big smiles embracing each other tightly while displaying their sorority’s hand signal.  Or perhaps a shot of the sorority as a whole, depending if it’s recruitment time.  These girls are all beautiful in their own way, and some might say annoying in their own way.

Females can be difficult to understand, and while not every girl can be categorized with a vague definition, perhaps the Hall of Females will help you understand what you’re dealing with.

~Castle

Snowboarding, Shuan White, keg stands, hockey and Canada… and everything in between

- How F’d up is UCSD?

- What the deal is at the box office

- Ballet dancing: More difficult than advertised

- And Castle attempts to brings piece of mind on the local tragedies that had recently

Talkin Smack on the Winter Games: Apolo Ohno, stereotyping on ice, Jamaican bobsleds, Johnny Weir and roller derby… I mean speed skating,

The NBA season is beginning to take that final turn around the home stretch. While fantasy basketball owners are scrambling to make those last minute transitions in light of “real-life” trades and injuries, M.O.T. has yet to address the impact those deadline moves have made for the NBA teams either looking for that final push into the post-season, or looking to clear up cap space for the big free agent pool at the end of the year.

Fear not, my loyalists. The time is now. Let’s take a look at which teams bettered their chance at challenging the Lake Show for favorites to win it all this year, and who has made the right moves to build towards next season.

Dallas Mavericks acquire Caron Butler, Brendan Haywood and DeShawn Stevenson from Washington

At first glance, this deal looked to be something serious. When you project a starting lineup that looks like this …

PG Jason Kidd, SG Caron Butler, SF Shawn Marion, PF Dirk Nowitzki, C Brendan Haywood, 6th Man Jason Terry

…one would have to consider this team a contender, right? Right?!? Well… not exactly. Jason Kidd was one of the best defenders at the 1 position before he became eligible for Social Security benefits. Yes, he’s still a walking triple-double on any given night, but he’s not fast enough to handle any of the younger point guards who will be manning the helm of the other teams they expect to see once the regular season finishes.

Under most circumstances, Caron Butler would be a great shooting guard, except for the fact that he can’t shoot. He’s hitting 41% of his field goals on the year, and is a career 44% shooter. It wouldn’t be that big of a tail-off if his 3-Point clip wasn’t at an atrocious 25% as well (career: 31%). I don’t want to hear the “let him acclimate to his new team” argument either, because he was just as bad this year with the Wizards. Yes, his numbers are roughly the same, but those percentages are going to be a problem, especially in the playoffs when the pressure increases.

Another year ends in disappointment for Mr. Cuban

Shawn Marion was a product of the Phoenix Suns Run-and-Gun system, and on top of that, he was their garbage man. They never drew up any plays for him, he just crashed the boards and scored mostly off of put-backs while playing great defense. Now, after somehow believing he could be the star of his own team and demanding a trade, being dealt to Miami and doing absolutely nothing there, going to Toronto and doing even less, then coming to Dallas, he’s just another guy in the lineup.

Dirk is simply the man on this team. Not much else needs to be said. And Haywood is as solid of a big man as anyone out there as long as he can stay healthy. With Jason Terry being the consummate professional and coming off the bench, these 3 are the staples for a title push. It’s too bad the other pieces make this puzzle look more like a Warshak test.

The best thing Dallas did in this deal was get rid of Josh Howard, who, ironically, after playing only four games with his new team in Washington, is out for the rest of the season with an ACL injury. The Wizards can now look at the 3 expiring contracts of the other players who came from Dallas in this deal and probably get more value by wiping their asses with them, or developing some Origami skills. There’s nothing left to see in D.C. this season, although I will say that Andray Blatche fellow has been playing some good ball as a starter.

Cleveland Cavaliers acquire Antawn Jamison from Washington

The big debate was who Cleveland would get to help bolster their team heading into the playoffs: Amar’e Stoudemire or Antawn Jamison?

It turns out Phoenix wasn’t fond of trying to explain to their remaining stars and fan base how trading Stoudemire would benefit the team in the long run, so they nixed the deal to the Cavs, thus opening the door for Jamison to head West. Cleveland went into the All-Star Break with a 13-game win streak, and since the deal, has dropped both games since adding their new Robin to LeBron’s Batman. Clearly, Antawn Jamison is not going to put this team over the hump. If anything, the impact he has on their chemistry may do more harm than good, like adding vinegar to cake mix. And it’s not like AJ is a proven winner, anyway. He’s never been past the second round of the playoffs, and never played for an elite contender … so what is it exactly he’s supposed to bring to the table?

LeBron/Antawn: Can these two come together to win? Doubtful

Look, the Cavs were Finals-bound before this deal, but it’s still not enough to put them over the hump, and that hump is wearing Purple and Gold.

New York Knicks acquire Tracy McGrady from Rockets, trade Nate Robinson to Boston

All eyes have been on the Big Apple this year, as the city Jay-Z and Alicia Keys notoriously paid homage to in their “Empire State of Mind” looks to make itself relevant again on the NBA radar. Everyone knows they’re gunning for any combination of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in the 2010 Free Agent Sweepstakes, and trading for Tracy McGrady was the first step in that process. This will now clear them enough cap space to spend $30million during the off-season on any of the three aforementioned studs who will be available, if not 2 of the 3. I can’t really knock this move at all, aside from McGrady being a living, breathing health insurance liability even when he’s brushing his teeth, let alone attempting to play in a profession paying him $22mil this season alone.

McGrady better have NY doctors on speed-dial

Regardless, I can guarantee two things from this deal: 1. McGrady has a better chance of his crooked eye going straight than finishing the season healthy, and 2. The Knicks will succeed in scoring either James, Wade or Bosh, and at least one other solid free agent before next year.

As for “Nasty” Nate Robinson going to Boston, I guess the Celtics front office felt they needed a dynamic scoring option to come off the bench. What I don’t like is that they gave up Eddie “In Da” House to get him. House is the kind of shooter who gets hot and stays hot for a long, long time. I have friends who witnessed this in person, since he dropped 49 points against my high school alma mater (big up to Hanford, learn how to defend the perimeter though). We’ll see how this plays out, but I don’t see Boston beating the Cavs, Magic or even the Hawks if they face any of those teams in the playoffs. They sold their souls for that championship a couple years ago, now it’s time to accept the fact that their “Big Three” has already succumbed to the “Big Knee Injury”. Has Kevin Garnett been the same since missing most of last year? Simply put: no. Nor will he ever be.

Portland Trail Blazers acquire Marcus Camby from L.A. Clippers

This was a huge move by Portland, considering Greg Oden and Joel Przybilla have been lost for the year. Still, any time you talk about Camby, you have to talk about how this guy gets hurt more than Jake from The Bachelor (have you ever seen a grown man cry as much as this dude?). A healthy Camby means Portland can make a solid run now that the highly-underrated Andre Miller is the loan shark at PG with Steve Blake gone as part of the deal to bring Camby over. And with Brandon Roy back from the sidelines, can this team contend? No, but they are building a strong foundation with some wily veterans (Miller, Camby) and a solid core of young scorers (Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Martell Webster, Jerryd Bayless) to contend in years to come. They’ve played well this year despite a ton of injuries, but the question remains, can they all be on the court at once to fulfill their potential?

Houston Rockets acquire Kevin Martin from Sacramento

The Rockets made a valiant and admirable effort in an attempt to take down the Lake Show last year, getting closer than any other team by pushing Phil Jackson and Co. to 7 games. They are now with Trevor Ariza and without Ron Artest, who regardless of what you may believe was a heavy catalyst in making that team go as far as they did. Although Ariza helped the Lakers last season, he’s not the kind of player to rely on offensively as Artest is, and his poor shooting percentages (38% FG, 61% FT) aren’t what you want in a primary scoring option. Enter K-Mart. No, not the store, and no not the guy from the Denver Nuggets. I’m talking about the best pure scorer in the NBA you might not have heard of. This K-Mart shoots with a funky release and scores at will. I’m not exactly sure how durable he is, as the past 2 seasons he saw extra time on the pine due to injury, but when he’s 100%, watch out. Houston somehow always seems to get it done even when it’s without their best players, so if Yao Ming were to come back next year, this team can do some damage. As for this year, however, a second-round finish is the ceiling.

Can the Lakers repeat with Kobe banged-up?

I’ll go on record with this – Lakers vs. Cavs in the Finals. It’s a foregone conclusion as far as I’m concerned. Denver, Dallas, and Portland may threaten in the West; Orlando, Boston, and Atlanta may threaten in the East. In the end, though, it’s going to be the big money matchup the NBA has been waiting for: Kobe vs. LeBron. It’s why Nike has those ads with the puppets for each icon, and really, would you want to see any other teams play in the Finals? NO, you wouldn’t. You’re not a basketball fan if you oppose this matchup, sorry to break it to you. With that said, I find it hard to believe the Cavs have enough to beat the Show, even with Kobe at less than 100%.

L.A. played very well without Kobe in 5 games, going 4-1 with their only loss coming down to the final possession against a solid Boston team. The ball movement was better than we’ve seen with Kobe in the lineup, and I’m sure as they ease Kobe back into games, they’re going to rely less on him for the scoring load, which means less one-on-one basketball with Kobe dribbling to creating his own shot. Regardless of this, even without Kobe, the Lakers are a Top 3 team in the league. Yes, I said it. Probably even still the best team.

Even at 80%, he's better than 99% of the league

Each player on that team has an understanding of when to step up, and that is solely attributed to Phil Jackson’s ability to manage the team not only as players, but as people. You can take my word for it, or you can wait for the season to unfold and listen to all the “I told you so’s” that follow once it happens. Either way, I still told you so.

Letting The Dogs Out – Weekly Awards

It’s time for Tiger Woods to take a BOW.

"King Kong ain't got sh*t on me!!!"

Is it because he finally came clean in making a public appearance and statement after his post-Thanksgiving car wreck/infidelity scandal?

No.

Is it for finally addressing when he may return to the golf circuit, which could be as early as later this year?

No.

How about for managing to still be married to the wife he more or less successfully cheated on, ultimately proving that “it’s cheaper to keep her?”

No.

Tiger gets the Best Of Week award simply for being able to hold a press conference with only who he wanted to be there, without having to answer questions, and for locking it down on ABC, NBC, FOX, CBS, MSNBC, E!, ESPN, CNN, the Golf Channel, the Home Shopping Network, the Playboy Channel, and Telemundo all at the same time. That is super strong if you ask me. And you thought the President was the only person with that kind of pull. Eat your heart out, Obama.

Oh, WOW, the nerve of those golfers who claimed Tiger was stealing their spotlight from the Match-Play tournament with his press conference. I got news for you guys … without Tiger, you guys are all irrelevant. Golf doesn’t exist without Tiger, and to be honest, I don’t even know if that tournament is still going on, let alone who might have won. You guys NEED Tiger back, so if anything, you should be assisting him with the healing process. I address the golf field as a whole, because I can’t even point out any of you individually. You are all the Worst Of Week. Get good then have an opinion. If anything, Tiger’s press conference brought more attention to you guys than anything else. Take solace in knowing that and move along, because there’s nothing to see unless Tiger’s involved.

This has been another Moment of Truth …

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.  In the case of recently retired MLB slugger Frank Thomas, I say that statement couldn’t be any more appropriate.

Aptly, nicknamed “The Big Hurt”, Thomas was a physical specimen the likes of which baseball had never seen before.  If you aren’t familiar with his line of work, it’s as simple as this:  Frank Thomas was to the 1990’s as Albert Pujols is to this current decade.  His first 9 years of professional ball saw the type of hitting productivity that can only be rivaled by the aforementioned Pujols, and the legendary Ted Williams.  He hit for average, hit for power, walked tons of times, and drove in runs at a pace that was unheard of for a man of his stature (6’5”, 260 lbs).

While all of the stats he put up were impressive, notwithstanding the string of injury-plagued seasons towards the latter part of his career, there’s one thing about Big Frank that stood out more than any of the numbers tied to his name, or achievements he earned along the way – he did it all “the right way.”  In other words, he was NOT a cheater.

Frank Thomas leaves a legacy too be proud of

In an era exposed as a time where major league athletes were turning to steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs to boost their level of play on the field, Frank Thomas was one of the few who abstained from cheating.  Even more noteworthy is the fact that Thomas was the ONLY player to come forward and talk to George Mitchell during his investigation into PEDs in baseball.  In terms of baseball’s unspoken ‘code of silence’ (e.g. Players won’t snitch on other players) this was huge.  And although Thomas wasn’t out there giving up names (he stated he wasn’t aware of steroid use going on around him) the fact that he continuously stepped forward to plead his case against PEDs puts him in a class of his own.

Without getting too personal, Big Frank is the reason why I have been a White Sox fan since age 10.  But it’s all the good things I hear about him now that reaffirms what drew me to him as a kid in awe of his statuesque batting stance, his trademark smile, and his all-around good nature as a person.  The main question now is not if The Big Hurt will be in the Hall-of-Fame, but whether or not he’ll make it in his first attempt.  His poor defense and slow base-running aside, I see no reason why one of the best right-handed hitters of all-time shouldn’t be a first-ballot inductee.  Let’s put it this way:  you’re going on a first date and want to make a good impression, but you only have one clean shirt and a hamper full of dirty ones.  What are you going to wear that day?

NBA All-Star Weekend

The only thing I can liken this past weekend’s NBA All-Star festivities to is when you’re watching the opening American Idol auditions, and there’s that one contestant who the judges have already said no to … but instead of accepting the fact that they have no future as a singer, they keep trying to sing, and the judges are sitting there with perplexed looks on their faces, motioning for security to get the person out of there.  Yeah, that’s what it reminded me of.

Now I can’t honestly say that I sat and watched every event from Friday to Sunday, but I’m willing to bet Saturday night’s events were a microcosm of what went down the whole weekend.  There wasn’t very much fluidity going on from competition to competition, which caused a lot of boring transitions while waiting for the next contestant to perform, and it all culminated in what was no doubt the worst slam dunk contest in the history of the NBA.  Matter of fact, it was probably the worst dunk contest in the history of the world.  I mean, I seriously remember having better dunk competitions in my old driveway when I was in junior high.

The most epic failure, though, would have to be the Let Shannon Dunk campaign that became a Twitter phenomenon leading up to the slam dunk event.  Lakers guard Shannon Brown, who developed a cult following with his array of amazing in-game dunks during the season, became the #1 trending topic on Twitter, and rewarded his newfound popularity by proceeding to not only attempt some extremely basic and uninspiring dunks, but by missing several  of those attempts as well.  It was like buying an illegal pack of Bottle Rockets for the 4^th of July, inviting all your friends over in anticipation, then lighting them that night and finding out they were duds.

Operation: Failure

I can only recall two dunks that had the crowd register above a whisper.  Other than that, the place was so quiet you couldn’t tell if it was a piss-poor attempt at a dunk contest going on, or if they were showing a replay of the Vikings/Cowboys playoff matchup from this past January.  In other news, Paul Pierce won the 3-point shootout, and no one seemed to care.

But the weekend wasn’t a complete disaster.  I didn’t see the actual All-Star Game for myself, but from what I heard, it delivered in terms of entertainment.  I just think it’s time to do away with the slam dunk contest once again until either bigger stars decide to step up and participate (LeBron, we’re all looking at you) or the parties involved take it a little more seriously than they did this time around.  Let’s face it, when “Nasty” Nate Robinson is the only 3-time Slam Dunk Contest winner over the likes of Dominique Wilkins, Michael Jordan, and Larry Nance, well, exactly how much credibility does that show this thing has?

Winter Olympics kick-off

I only have one question … who cares about this?  And if anyone out there does, can you explain to me why I should?

Danica’s NASCAR debut

I’m not the biggest NASCAR enthusiast, but when a pretty woman steps into an occupational field dominated by men, people will take notice.  So I felt the need to address Danica Patrick’s debut in NASCAR’s Daytona 500 that promptly resulted in a 12-car accident.  No news yet on what caused the accident, but I just want to stress that texting or applying make-up while driving is not safe on public roads, let alone race tracks.

I’m kidding.  Kind of.

UFC 110 – Nogueira vs Velasquez

February 20^th marks one of the more meaningful UFC cards in awhile, headlined by a heavyweight clash between undefeated rising-star Cain Velasquez going heads up with the always-game legend, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira.  There are instant title ramifications for the winner of this bout, as the only other contenders for the Heavyweight Championship, Frank Mir and Shane Carwin, are also set to do battle somewhere down the road.  So the Mir/Carwin winner will likely face Brock Lesnar, and the winner of that bout will face the winner of Velasquez/Big Nog … unless the Mir/Carwin winner is too hurt to compete, at which point the Velasquez/Big Nog winner will face Lesnar first, then that winner will defend against the Mir/Carwin winner.  Confusing?  Sure.  But this is one of the few instances when confusion is a good thing.

More challengers waiting in line means more competition, and more competition means there’s always something for fans to look forward to.  As opposed to boxing, where the heavyweight division is monopolized by the Brothers Klitschko, who will likely never fight each other, the UFC heavyweight division has many options on where it can go from here.

Also on the card is a middleweight debut for 2 fighters who are moving down from the light heavyweight division, as Wanderlei “The Axe Murderer” Silva will face Michael “The Count” Bisping.  The territorial lines are being drawn between Brazil and England as we speak.  I’ll do a quick rundown of these fights and the others on the main card, as I attempt to predict the outcomes:

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Cain Velasquez – Great matchup, and should be a solid fight.  I think Nogueira showed he’s still in his prime when healthy after his win over Randy Couture.  This should be as closely contested, but I see Big Nog winning a decision, while Cain gains some valuable experience.

Wanderlei Silva vs. Michael Bisping – Bisping, to me, has always been overrated.  He’s a good striker that won’t engage in a slugfest, which is what Silva lives for.  I smell Bisping wants to work a stick-and-move gameplan, but at some point he’ll get cocky, and Silva will capitalize with a right hand or knee that spells doom for “The Count.” Silva by KO in the 2^nd round.

Joe Stevenson vs. George Sotiropoulos – While Sotiropoulos has shown improved skills since his stint on The Ultimate Fighter Season 6, his home-field advantage will hardly do him much good against a fighter of Joe Stevenson’s caliber.  Joe Daddy has only lost to top-level competition, and the Australian is definitely not that.  Look for Joe to sink in a rear-naked choke or guillotine in the latter rounds.

Ryan Bader vs. Keith Jardine – Bader has been nothing but stellar in his short UFC career, while Jardine has juggled success with failure through his duration with the company.  I’m expecting more of the same, as Jardine is unable to avoid his 3^rd consecutive loss at the hands of the Arizonan wrestler.  Bader by decision.

Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic vs. Ben Rothwell – Cro Cop has suffered a steady decline in not only his skills, but his confidence since joining the UFC fold.  His success in PRIDE is enough to keep UFC brass wanting to bring him back, as there are few names as recognizable in the MMA world, but whether Cro Cop can find that fire again remains to be seen.  Big Ben, on the other hand, has a bit to prove after his UFC debut against Cain Velasquez went sour, and I think that may make the difference.  I see Rothwell being the aggressor, and catching the tentative Cro Cop on his heels with a KO blow that finally spells the end of a once dominant career.

“Who Let The Dogs Out?”

It’s that time again to pass out weekly awards.

The Best Of Week (BOW) award goes to the San Francisco Giants for sidestepping the arbitration process with their staff ace, “Tiny” Tim Lincecum, and signing him to a 2-year, $23million contract.  Even more impressive is that they signed Timmy to less than what he and his agent were asking, which was about $13million per year.

The Worst Of Week (WOW) award goes to the NBA as a whole.  Not only was the All-Star Weekend a debacle of massive proportions, but David Stern also went on record to project $400 million in losses for the season.  Openly talking about taking an “L” of that magnitude is not a good look.

Next week, I’ll actually cover the topic I expected to tackle this week:  Kobe’s injuries vs. LeBron’s comeuppance.  Is this the Cavalier’s year?  Tune in next week to find out.  This has been another Moment of Truth …