It is arguably the most powerful force known to man, capable of bringing us the highest of highs and lowest of lows, sometimes within minutes. Wedged between “the meaning of life” and “why we’re here,” the question of what love is stands at the top of the list of great mysteries searched for since the dawn of mankind. Each person attempts to find his or her own unique answer to the sensitive question, while continually searching for a clearer definition.

I believe the most effective way to dissect love is to explore the relationship it has with its greatest enemy and closest friend, hate. In both cases love and hate take on a yin and yang relationship, being its greatest rival yet closest companion all at the same time. The transformation from love to hate can occur at light-speed when the trust that accompanies love is betrayed, making the line between the two notably fine. Yet an even finer line exists between love and friendship.

Friendship and love; what is the difference, and where is the line? It can be argued that love is just a stronger version of friendship, but I think it is deeper than that. And the confusion of that idea is why the line is so fine. It’s a dangerous line, but it has to be. Friendship and love cannot exist without each other. You can’t be friends without love, and love that isn’t with a friend is just infatuation. They must find a balance and co-exist.

Tip-toeing along the hazardous line of love and friendship can be exciting and yet confusing at the same time. Developing feelings for a friend can be scary and the risk of ruining a great friendship is very real. But should one run from such powerful feelings? Would the discovery of something real not be worth the risk? What if the friend you’re developing feelings for turns out to be the one you’ve been looking for? Wouldn’t that be worth it?

Only once the thin line between love and friendship is crossed do the differences between the two become so clear: Friendship is happiness, love is ecstasy. Friendship is trust, love is devotion. Friendship is being there, love is being there together.

How do we know if what we’re experiencing is love? Each person’s heart beats differently, and sometimes we wrongfully think we’ve found it. Infatuation, physical attraction and giddiness are all clever disguises of love, but love is something much deeper that must be battle-tested to be true. Sometimes the twisted cruelty of a lonely life causes a tortured soul to jump into a relationship they normally wouldn’t have, like a drowning victim in a vicious pool of sharks grabbing on to the first lifesaver available.

That’s not to say a successful relationship cannot be built in such an instance, but sometimes the stubborn human mind will attempt to build love that isn’t there, and personal happiness is compromised.

A true relationship based on passion and respect will overpower feelings of stress and negativity. If you take a look at the person you’re with and find more questions as to why you’re with them than answers, than perhaps an apparition of love has you chasing something that doesn’t exist. As agonizing as it can be, love cannot be forced.

Our heart is the most precious part of our body, both physically and figuratively. We must take care of it. In a way, guarding our hearts is like raising a child: We must protect it, but at the same time let it run free. Just as your child must grow, so does your heart – it must learn from its mistakes, and strengthen itself through experience.

Just as a child needs discipline, so does your heart. It is unhealthy to let your child run your life, and it is even unhealthier to let your heart do such. A crying child cannot be given whatever they want. The same discipline must be applied to your heart when it wants to mourn over heartbreak – sometimes simply getting over it is the only thing that can be done. This can be difficult, as heartbreak can be harder to recover from than any physical injury.

No physical pain can cause the loss of focus and lack of sleep that heartbreak can. But training your heart to deal with and overcome such pain is as necessary as teaching your child how to deal with loss and suffering. In both cases maturity and strength are gained as a result.

Love is blind, love is pain, love is beautiful. We’ve heard all the clichés, and they are all true in their own way, which is why love is complicated. Is the magic and beauty worth the complication? I believe so. The pain and agony that accompany the “L” word make it all the more satisfying when it is truly found. I may not be the expert, but who is? That’s my answer to what love is; it’s up to you to find yours.